Xolisile (xolisile) wrote,
Xolisile
xolisile

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Title: My Name is Kim HeeChul, and I’m Straight. Really.
Author: xolisile
Genre: Cracktastic
Pairing: Many mentionings of multiple ones. ‘Mentionings’ is a word because I say it is.
Note: I’m taking a break from the angst for a moment. This just sorta popped up into my head the other day at work and needed to be written.

My name is Kim HeeChul. ♥

But you knew that.

Also known to some as Cinderella, or just plain Rella ☆, the pink adoring, cat loving boyman. Some may call me Super Junior’s princess because of my movie star quality good looks, the royal way in which I am regarded and, among other reasons (including my attitude and incredible fashion sense) my harem of men. But let me tell you something. I resent that.

All of it.

For you see, I, unlike the rest of my band mates, am the only straight Super Junior member. That’s right.

I am straight.

Really. ♥♥

Honestly, how could you think otherwise when you see my band mates? Do any of our fans have eyes?

You would have to be blind, deaf, dumb, and been raised by penguins not to notice the way Shiwon and HanKyung look at each other. Hell, I’m sure even my cat knows. In fact, I think poor HeeBummie was trapped in the room last time Shiwon cornered HanKyung...

And don’t even get me started on Kibum! He and ChangMin are so...there isn’t even an adjective for them! When the camera isn’t on, Kibum is glued to his phone. And when DongBang actually makes it back to Korea (once every forty years or so), you can’t see one without the other. They sit around and giggle and I swear we’re all transported back to middle school when they’re in the vicinity.

YoungOon and JungSu don’t even try and hide it. The fans love it and they don’t have to bother worrying that someone might think they’re taking it too far. Hell, they’re together so often they might as well be wearing the same pair of pants. Under the guise of fanservice, they can get away with pretty much anything they feel like. Bastards.

ShinDong is like the crazy queer uncle. He’s fun and all, but he’s like the only unmarried guy who turns up for family dinner on Christmas day in a festive, bright colored sweater, and reeks of eggnog and excessive amounts of holiday cheer. Everyone knows...but no one says anything.

YehSung and RyeoWook... I don’t even want to fathom what goes on there. No. Just no. RyeoWook is too cute for that.

Speaking of cute, KyuHyun and SungMin are entirely too cute for each other. I don’t even think there is a man in that relationship...

The only normal ones around here seem to be DongHae and HyukJae, but every time I begin to think in such a manner, one of them does something to make me think otherwise! And other times I just have to remember which one DongHae is to shake myself of such insane thoughts. Those two are easier to just think of as one person. They’re attached at the lips frequently enough to be considered as such...

...

I’m going to go take more naked pictures of myself in the shower.

But I’m straight. I promise.
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  • 62 comments
XDDDDDDDDDDDD

This was amazing. I give you hearts-a-pleanty!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
-hoards the hearts!-

Why thank you! :D! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
LOL AMAZING. The colored font and little avatars killed me XDDDDDDDD

But Shihan, Kangteuk and Hyukhae = ♥ ♥ ♥
I was just sitting here writing it and my muse demanded it be colorful and 'fun'. --; Straight my ass...

Thank you for reading. ^~^
xD!
naked shower pictures ftw!
Yes yes~ *~*

Thank you for reading. ^-^
lmao! awsome XD hee chul is sooo straight *cough* naked pics in shower *cough* hehehe
He is srsly srsly str8. -nodnod-

Thanks for reading! n_n
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
KyuMin are lesbians XDDD

I like the sparklies... it's like a journal entry XDDD I LOVE IT

It's not Rellatime unless there's sparklies!

Thanks for reading. :>
By the time I ended Shindong's description, I lost a lung to heavy laughter. xD Of course Rella's straight! I've never seen such a beautiful example of masculinity...-cough- :3
XD XD XD

Who hasn't? 8D

Thanks for reading. :3
This is great. It reeks of Heechulism. Bravo. And it's so bright! *_* How lovely. Just like Rella. Wonderful job. ^___^
Aw :D! Why thank you! ^~^

:3 And thank you for reading~~
Ahh~~ More HeeChul in denial~
lol~
This is awesome.
I love the little figures to go with it. ♥
Aw, why thank you. XD My intent in the begining was to make him actually straight...but he's just...way too gay. XDDD

Thanks for reading! n.n

redeim

9 years ago

xolisile

9 years ago

redeim

9 years ago

xolisile

9 years ago

redeim

9 years ago

xolisile

9 years ago

redeim

9 years ago

xolisile

9 years ago

redeim

9 years ago

xolisile

9 years ago

redeim

9 years ago

xolisile

9 years ago

redeim

9 years ago

I love this!! xDDDDD *Dies*
God! All the pairings are so good!! And, the ShiHan, KiMin y KyuMin are my favs!! n__n Pretty good!
xD Great job! I even belive him! (xDD Yeah, right!)
y KyuMin

xDDD Spanglish, no? Gracias por sus palabras buenas~~

...Intenté. >_>

zelshamada

9 years ago

xolisile

9 years ago

zelshamada

9 years ago

xolisile

9 years ago

zelshamada

9 years ago

Aww, of course Heechul is straight!*cough* We believe you! *cough*
This was insanely beautiful. Seriously, you got all the best pairings and even though the descriptions of all the relationships were brief, they were perfect all the same! I liked the KangTeuk and HyukHae the best. <333
*huggles* thank you for writting!!!
*huggles* thank you for writting!!!

No, thank you for reading. 83 I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D
he's an exhibitionist, not queer! :D *glad you finally wrote this*
Aw, I'm sorry I made you wait. XP Thanks for reading.
Hahahahah!!!!!!!!!.. This fic got me all laughing all the way.. Lolz.. poor Heebumie.. but i would really like to be in its position.. LOLZ!!!
XD I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for reading~

Deleted comment

What else would he do with them...? 8>

Thanks for reading. n_n
seriously, i could just be convinced if you just presented the tittle. but you gotta be kidding if i ddin't believe he's not gay after reading this. i just adore thsi, there's just too much sarcasm and especially, kangteuk, yea they do get away with everything, don't they? lucky bastards. haha
God, KangTeuk is just so... >_> Rah! xD;

Thanks for reading. :3
*giggle*

Right Rella, you're straight. no problem XD

I really like this and I love how you inserted these little pictures anf so on *lol* gives the whole thing a more Rella like feel XD
As I was writing it...those little pictures and stuff just...came out. xD Thank you for reading. :3 I'm happy you enjoyed it.
That was simply hilarious!!! XDDDD
Rella... I believe you!!! *___*

......well, that's not true, but poor Heechul, he tried his best to convince us!! XDDDDD

Great fic! <3
He did his best and that's all anyone can ask of him. -nodnod- xD

Thank you for reading! :D

<3

enys_luisa

9 years ago

Re: &lt;3

xolisile

9 years ago

Re: &lt;3

enys_luisa

9 years ago

Re: &amp;lt;3

xolisile

9 years ago

Deleted comment

XD I'm happy you liked it. :> Thank you for reading!
Yesss this totally made my day.

The YehWook was hilarious, the Kyumin was just LOL and shindong.. LOL poor shindong all alone. and Kangteuk ♥

Rella in denial ftw!!

ILU ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Yesss this totally made my day.

I'm glad. XD Thanks for reading. :>
lol funny heechul lol love the sungmin and kyuhyun part lol
XD Thank you for reading.
I think I just burst a blood vessel from laughing so hard!!! You did an amazing job writing this and I especially liked the YehSung & RyeoWook --> w/ Ryeo just being too cute for any type of imagining, YoungOon & JungSu really are absolutely adorable together, I must agree!! Also DongHae & HyukJae..can't even say anything for how awesome that part was written!!! Of course we can't forget crazy queer uncle ShinDong ::snort giggle snort:: ^____^ LOVED IT!! <3333
... xD This comment was exactly what I needed to wake up to. ♥ Thank you. I'm very glad you enjoyed it. :Dv

bvalkon

9 years ago

LMFAO ;~; PREASE TO BE LETTING ME DIE